Waiting

Tomorrow, or rather in just a couple hours, I am 39 weeks pregnant.

When I found out this baby's due date was in April, I was so relieved that I would not have the time pressure of getting a passport, visa, ect, in just 3 1/2 weeks before getting on a plane to America as we had to with Lizbeth. Don't hate me, but I am blessed with not being terribly uncomfortable even in third trimester (in fact this pregnancy it was my second trimester that was actually really uncomfortable). Last pregnancy I really felt as though I cheated myself of the last few weeks of pregnancy by being so stressed about the time.

So why do I still feel so impatient about meeting this baby?

When I started having regular contractions at 22 weeks and was put on semi-bedrest, there was such a fear of going into early labor. When I finally hit the more "safe" zone after 32+ weeks it was a relief that even if the baby came early, everything would probably be okay. 35 weeks, the point at which I felt if the baby came we wouldn't need to travel to Beijing in an emergency, came and went. 37 weeks, full term, came and passed. For some reason I really felt he would arrive that week, and was even freaking out a few weeks before that there was no way I would have enough time to prepare for him by then. And as time ticks by, the waiting gets harder and harder.

Why is it so hard to wait? Sometimes I feel I have legitimate reasons. If the baby comes in the next couple days, Nathan will have most of Spring Break, in addition to his paternity leave, to spend with the baby. I will also need to take less maternity leave. The later this baby comes, the less time my mom has with him before she has to head back to the States.

On the other hand, I know how much I really should accomplish before he comes. There's the taxes to finish, the house to start refinancing, lesson plans for maternity leave to write, plane tickets for this summer to purchase, ect.

And of course, I don't want to wish away these last few days with just Lizbeth. I am so terrified of how this transition will affect my sweet little girl, and I truly dread being away from her for the time I have to stay at the hospital (traditionally four days in China). Today I laid down with her for her nap and just held her in my arms, enjoying the feel and smell of her as she slept. I don't know if I'll be able to do that after this little boy comes.

So in reality, I know I should just be content with today. But every day I wake up and nothing has changed, I am disappointed. I want to hold my baby boy, smell his new infant scent, trace the lines of his face, and kiss his toes.

Then I remember that 39 weeks is still early. Not unsafe early, but on average earlier than most babies make their appearances. So why am I so impatient?

I am praying for the patience to enjoy every moment, and the ability to feel content in this time of anticipation.

More on Busy Hands

As well as getting into mischief, Lizbeth loves to use her hands to help me in the kitchen. A little while ago, Nathan was able to capture her helping me make lasagna in the kitchen. My little angel :-)

From 2012.3 March

From 2012.3 March

Sneaking a little and checking to see if I notice.

From 2012.3 March

She was quite good at sprinkling the ingredients.

From 2012.3 March

A Few Artsy Shots

I know I've had a lot of pictures of Lizbeth up here lately, but what can I say, I'm enamored :-)

After I had my maternity pictures taken with Kiley, I was inspired to try some fun lighting ones of Lizbeth. Unfortunately these turned out a little dark on the right, but I still love them.

From 2012.3 March

From 2012.3 March

From 2012.3 March

From 2012.3 March

Faces Of Lizzy Ann

From 2012.3 March

From 2012.3 March

From 2012.3 March

Our City At Night

I love where I live.

From 2012.3 March

Morning Light and Legos

I love how the morning light is so natural to photograph Lizbeth in, so I grabbed my camera a few weeks ago. She is sometimes very compliant to letting me photograph her (and other days declares "NO Pictures!") Later she started playing with her legos and showed off for me how she has learned to put them together on her own! (previously "playing legos" consisted of you building and her pulling apart) Here are some sweet pictures of my little angel.

From 2012.2 February

From 2012.2 February

From 2012.2 February

From 2012.2 February

From 2012.2 February

From 2012.2 February

Package

From 2012.3 March

A very exciting package showed up-my first big purchase for this baby!

From 2012.3 March

Lizbeth is very excited about it too, though she's not sure which she's more excited about, the chair or the box.

From 2012.3 March

We've had a lot of fun with both.

From 2012.3 March

Busy Hands

I'm working two days a week this semester. While I only actually teach 1 1/2 hours each of those days, with commute, prep time, lunch, and Chinese class, I end up being out of the house pretty much all day Monday and Tuesday.

Wednesday mornings, Lizbeth has a play time class at our school's Early Childhood Center.

By Wednesday afternoon, I'm exhausted.

Well, enter the 9th month. I now have to head all the way to the hospital every week for my prenatal appointments. The commute is about a half hour each way (if I can get a taxi right away). As I am teaching Monday and Tuesday, have Chinese class Thursday afternoon, and my doctor is out of office Thursday morning and Friday, this leaves Wednesday afternoon for for these lovely appointments in which they tell me everything is fine and to go home and wait some more.

Not to mention, the Chinese health system is very different than American. Instead of setting up an appointment, you just show up...and wait behind everyone else that is ahead of you. They also often only have one sonogram or NST machine going at once, which means the wait can be very long. On average, these appointments take over two hours, not including commute time.

So, on to my exhaustion. To make matter worse, Nathan comes home on the late bus on Wednesdays. Today I was so tired I put on the Little Mermaid for Lizbeth to watch. Thinking she was content and I would hear her if something changed...I closed my eyes on the couch. Oops. A half hour later I woke up to find she had gotten into the vaseline. It was all over every exposed part of her body, much of her clothes, in her hair, smeared across the toilet, bathroom floor, hallway floor, into the living room, on the pleather chair, and who knows where else...

I have learned my lesson. No sleeping when she is not. This is going to make Wednesdays very long...

男宝宝

In case you were wondering, 男宝宝 (pronounced "nan bao bao") means boy baby. This is the first to come of my maternity pictures from my awesome friend and photographer, Kiley Ariail.

From Maternity

You can find more of her pictures on her website www.kileyariail.com, including a few of Lizbeth's 1 year old photos and some of my beautiful friend Jacquelyn.

First Braids

From 2012.2 February

Lizbeth has long straight bangs that hang down right in her eyes. Actually they're almost to her chin now, but still refuse to be tucked behind her ears. Unfortunately, most days she hates having her hair brushed, ponytailed, or clipped back, and almost anything I do seems to just slip right out after just an hour or two.

Well the other day I was looking at her hair and realizing that it is just about long enough to french braid, at least part of it. So I bribed her with chocolate and convinced her to sit down long enough for me to braid her bangs back. I was amazed at how long the braid stayed in-at the end of the day it still didn't look too bad, and was very successful at keeping her hair out of her eyes. We've done this many days since, and I think is both of ours favorite way to keep her hair in some sort of order. Beats fighting her to put her pony tail back in every couple hours!

From 2012.2 February

Pregnancy Pictures

As my connection to blogger is intermittent, I wanted to quickly post a couple fairly recent pictures of my pregnancy. Funny, we all say how we will not take less pictures with the second baby, but as far as I know, we all do...I think we've only photographed this pregnancy three times!

On the other hand, I am getting professional shots on Friday (tomorrow). I'm pretty excited but a bit not sure what to expect. I have no idea what to wear! haha. But this photographer is amazing and I'm sure she will do a fantastic job.

Okay, here for the not-professional shots :-)

31 Weeks Pregnant

From 2012.2 February

From 2012.2 February

33 1/2 Weeks
I've been teaching on Mondays and Tuesdays, and unfortunately the class times are right through Lizbeth's naps. We try and sneak short ones before or after, but by Tuesday afternoon she's getting pretty tired. Here she had fallen asleep on the bus home, stayed asleep as I carried her the whole 7 minute walk home, transferred to my bed, and continued to sleep another 20 minutes. She woke up crying and so we cuddled on the chair for a little while. She thought my tummy was the comfyist place and ended up falling back asleep for a whole hour more.

From 2012.2 February

34 Weeks

From 2012.2 February

My Sweet Angel Girl

From 2012.2 February