This Week I'm...

planning a memorial.

Can one say exhausting? I volunteered after someone recommended me. It makes sense, I'm not working full time, and I don't have older children to help grieve themselves.

Never did I imagine all the emotional and mental work this takes. I've done okay recently in the grieving process. Still heartbroken, but controlled. Able to separate it from my daily tasks. But planning, writing, organizing, e-mailing, coordinating...so many details...today there were many tears.

We're working to translate as much as possible into Chinese and some into Korean. Of course, I don't do the actual translating. Just have to get the right pieces to the right people, recollect, format, and put it all together.

Many of the songs and translations will be on slides. Have to get all of that organized and off to the person putting together the slide show.

Things have to be printed, folded, cut. Not at school to do it, so once again delegating and organizing.

Buses have to be organized. People have to be informed. I think I have over fifty e-mails in my inbox just from today, just about this event.

And then I've been doing my own searching. Looking for pictures, typing out thoughts, want to get it together to give to them, to share just a few more memories with them.

Remembering. Remembering the first time I met them. Attending Pre-field Orientation with them. Finding out we would be sent to the same city. Visiting Niagra Falls together. Taking pictures together with them, of them...

Scattered memories, scattered thoughts. So many little pieces...

I'm Exhausted

Last week Nathan had the flu. It was for the second half of his spring break, so rather than be concerned for him, I was more frustrated about losing his spring break to sickness.

Sunday, it hit me. Wow. This thing is terrible! Fever, chills, pain every part of your body, so dizzy you can barely stand up...uhg. Only Nathan had to go back to work on Monday, leaving me terribly sick with a very busy infant (did I mention she's walking now?)

Then, yesterday and today, I'm FINALLY starting to feel a little better...and Lizbeth decides to start getting up at 4:30 AM (and I mean AWAKE) and swearing off naps. All of yesterday she slept for about one hour and twenty minutes, then 10 minutes in the afternoon! Are you kidding me?

To top it off, I was up late doing taxes last night (don't judge me, I actually did them weeks ago but the program crapped out on me), today I have to take her to get her shots, have a two hour Chinese class at my house, clean house, and host a baby shower tomorrow...we're praying for better naps today.

On the up side...I have never felt so cared for by my community! I have had four people go shopping for me, one take Lizbeth for awhile, one make me soup, one buy me lunch...and many more offers of whatever I need.

Even better than that, my chinese helper has come early and left late both days this week so she can take Lizbeth out in the afternoon and still wash the dishes and cook dinner. Did I mention she's AMAZING?

Now if only I could get some sleep...nope, got to start on the laundry.

Daddy and Baby

One of the things I love about having a baby is watching her with her daddy. They play, they sing, they wrestle. They play musical instruments, they tell stories. Every evening, her daddy comes home and she lights up with the biggest smile you've ever seen. Her daddy plays the guitar for her, takes her for bike rides, sings her to sleep. Never has there been anything sweeter to me than watching them together.

From March 2011

Can You Say Bedhead?

From March 2011