Where is home? This is something that every TCK (Third Culture Kid) family has trouble figuring this out, and now that we have a child of our own I'm struggling with this more. Granted, I realize our little one has awhile before she realizes the oddity of our lives but I know that it will start earlier than I think.
We're currently in Molalla, Oregon. Nathan and I both grew up in this small town and much of our family still lives in or around our childhood homes. It is wonderful to see our parents, many of our sibblings (all but my little brother currently stationed in Hawaii), the pastor who married us, and many good friends from our past.
Next week we head to Texas, where my sister lives and the house we own is located. We are looking forward to seeing our main support from before we moved to China. We will also make a quick stop in Dallas and hopefully Houston to see college friends. It will be weird to be back in the place we had settled, see our house, our cat, maybe even our dog.
And yet currently I am missing my home in China too. I miss our dear friends the Carmans and many others, the restaurants I'm used to eating at, the apartment we've recently made our home, even the school and all of our students. I miss the Qingdao beach and buying things on the street.
So where is our home? What does "home" mean? How do I teach my daughter and give her a place she can call home? How do I support her and give her security when our lives are so transient?
I remember talking with some of our Chinese friends. They both moved to the United States before their children were born (maybe even before they met), had children, raised them in the American schools, and then felt called to move back to China. They told their daughters they were moving "home". One of the daughters looked their parents in the eye and said, "Mom, China is not our (the daughters) home. We grew up here. We support your decision, but just remember we are not moving BACK to China, we are just moving TO." I realized listening to their story that it will be important to listen to my children and occasionally try and look through their eyes. Just as I can't define what my "home" is at this point of time, it will be important that I understand their struggle as well.
4 comments:
I often wonder where home is too... When we went to Vancouver last month, I realized just how much I'd missed it, but I don't know if it's still home. I'd like to think so.
On another note... please, please, please make sure we get to see you guys when you are here. I would love to meet your daughter, and just get to hang out with you. When exactly are you planning on being in Dallas? I want to make sure our schedule is clear for some Ruth and Nate-dog time!
I don't think "home" is really a place, necessarily.
Home is where ever you feel loved... and for you it seems you are very blessed b/c you are loved all over the world! I think your little one will get that very quickly and realize she is blessed with not just one home but that she has many places she is loved...
i've thought about this quite a bit as well... does home have to be one place? i think all of my homes serve different roles in my life (hometown, home where i live, home where my parents live, etc)... i think there are many types of homes! and i love that they all contribute to who we are. cherish each home while you are there within these months, dear! ;)
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