Still grieving

Tonight I held my little girl as she sobbed about missing China. 

Her transition to life here has been amazingly easy.  She hardly asked about China, and soaked up the attention from relatives.  She thrived on the new environment and abundance of toys.  Things were going so easily, I had assumed we would skip over the grieving phase.

I was surprised then when the past couple weeks she became increasingly concerned about how she can't remember life there.  She frequently asks me questions and gets a sad look on her face when the memories don't come back easily.  A week ago she asked for the first time when we would be headed back.  She was distressed when I explained it would still be a long long time, but quickly went on with her play.

It might have been the vaccines she received today, or the two times in the pool with no quiet time, or any other number of triggers from a long, though happy, day.  But whatever caused it, tonight the floodgates spilled over and she cried in my arms about how desperately she wanted to go back to China.  How do you explain the concept of a "year" to a four year old?  How do you assure her you will go back when you don't even know for sure yourself?

Even though she was already in bed and was supposed to be sleeping, I pulled out my tablet and we looked at pictures of our apartment and people in China.  I had wanted to put together a small photo album of her friends before we left, but in the crush of time it just didn't happen.  It will now move up on the priorities list.

I have such peace that we are where we are supposed to be right now.  It sure can be hard though.

Arrived

Blogging has always been a good way for me to process things.

It seems like, then, keeping up my blog would have been a great thing for me to do during our transition to America.

And it would have been.

But everytime I would sit down to write, all of the emotions and stress and exhaustion would rise to the surface and I would be overwhelmed.  Completely blocked from writing.  Unable to process.

And so I would shut the computer, get up, and pack one more box.  Make one more list.  Dial one more phone call.  Anything to keep moving towards the unavoidable June 12th date.

It's now June 16th.  We're here.  We've had four days to unpack, rest, eat, and try to sleep.  Am I any less emotional, stressed, or exhausted?  Not much.  But getting there.

Happy Easter!

From Easter

From Easter

From Easter

From Easter

He's Two!

I can't believe it but my baby is officially two.  It's been so fun to watch him transform over the past few months from baby to true toddler.  He cracks me up daily and I love him to pieces.  We are so blessed by his presence in our lives.

At his Birthday Dinner:

From Matthew's Birthday

From Matthew's Birthday

From Matthew's Birthday

From Matthew's Birthday

From Matthew's Birthday

And his Birthday Party:

From Matthew's Birthday

From Matthew's Birthday

From Matthew's Birthday

These boys are so cute.  Which one's mine?

From Matthew's Birthday

From Matthew's Birthday

Philippines, Take 2

4 years ago nearly exactly, I was pregnant with Lizbeth and we went to the Philippines. Our friends were setting up another trip this year, so we decided to jump on board.

Although it was a VERY different trip with two kids along, we still managed to have a good time soaking up some sun and clean air before heading back to our cold polluted city.  Actually, it snowed two days after we got back, our first snow of the year!  What a shock to our bodies :-)

We traveled down with friends, this little boy is about Lizbeth's age.  They were going to a different part of the Philippines.

On the boat to the island resort we would spend one night at. We had just been traveling through the night, poor baby.

Our rooms were made up with creatively folded towels and fresh flowers.

I am incapable of packing light. I had 10 times too many clothes for Lizbeth, especially since we spent most of the trip in our swim suits. In nine days she wore a total of 3 dresses and 1 skirt and shirt.

Soaking up the sun!

Shopping in the market.

Cute kids.

Lizbeth picked this dress up and paid for it with the small amount of money we gave her. She wore it as much as possible the rest of the trip.

Shots around town, near the pier.

On the boat.

We were all more than a little tired by the end of the trip!  Nathan slept 16 hours when we got back, went down for a nap at 3:00 PM and didn't get up until the next morning! :-)

Christmas Time Is Here!

We've had a great weekend of Christmas activities including our school Christmas Fair and putting up our own Christmas Tree.  We also recently purchased tickets to Oregon, so I'm really starting to get excited about the holidays!  Only 12 days until we board a plane!

Here's some shots of decorating the tree.  Matthew didn't care to be much a part of it, but Lizbeth was totally excited.

They say if you want to know what is said within a family, ask the 3 year old.

Right now BOTH kids are into mimicking.

One thing that drives Nathan and me crazy is parking in China.  One of my friends used to have a folder on Facebook with pictures of horrible parking jobs in the States...they don't even come close to what we see over here!  Basically, the philosophy seems to be if you can fit it, no matter the cost to anyone else, you can take it.  Many times this means the entrance to my apartment stairwell.

This didn't bother me nearly as much until I had a stroller.  Stepping to the side is no big deal when you're only concerned with your own two feet.  When you're pushing a stroller loaded down with two kids, groceries, and a diaper bag, this is a lot more difficult.  Up, over the sidewalk edger, through the bushes, turn 90 degrees to go back over the sidewalk edger again back onto the sidewalk, twist, up a step, open the stairwell door, and through the door before it closes on you...

Even worse is when you have to do this into traffic.  Not only inconvenient, but dangerous as well.  Here, let me point my stroller, with my precious baby in it, off the curb, into the traffic and crazy drivers who don't care about pedestrians, around the obnoxious car hanging halfway into the road, back up on the curb, and onto the sidewalk...awesomeness.

So anyways, back to my adorable kids. Lizbeth is to the point she says whatever I say, and often this is complaining about the poor parking job someone has inconvenienced me with. So the other day, we are walking back from dinner and Nathan and I are chatting away, kinda ignoring the kids.  Then I hear Lizbeth say:

"Aw, come on!  You've got to be kidding me! No way!"  I look ahead where she's pointing and there is a car parked across the sidewalk in front of us.

The funny part was then I hear a smaller voice say

"No ae!"

That's right, we have a 3 year old that mimics us, and a 1 year old that mimics her...

It's also funny, albeit annoying sometimes, when they mimic each other.  Matthew will say in his 18month old language something like "ookie" (cookie).  Then Lizbeth will mimic him in baby language, and he will mimic her, ect.  They'll go back and forth with this until I call it quits. 

But they can always bring a smile to my face :-)